He might be uncomfortable on public transport, or be extremely nervous when you or the children are not at home. He may seem overly concerned with checking doors, windows, or not visiting crowded places.
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Sometimes, after a traumatic experience, people can experience flashbacks to an event or series of events, to the point where they are re-living the past in the present moment. At times he may seem to be in “another world,” and appear to be disconnected or vague. Bad dreams, being preoccupied and spacing out.These are common ways that people try to keep themselves safe and try to keep distressing memories at bay. He may change the subject when some things are talked about. There may be certain types of people that he stays away from, or there may be parts of his past that he avoids talking about. He may leave the room when some things come on television. Avoidance of some people, places or situations.Men and their partners have identified a number of ways that the experience of childhood sexual abuse or sexual assault has impacted on them and their relationships. It can then provide a starting place for positive change. Although hearing that a man has been sexually abused is distressing, sometimes this information can help a partner make sense of some of the behaviours they have been observing. A man will often try to find his own way to deal with the experience of sexual abuse, and will work hard to limit its impact on his life and relationships. There is no prescribed way that an experience of sexual abuse will impact on a man or on his relationships.
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The impact of sexual abuse on relationships
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Whether you or your partner was sexually abused or not, this will always be the case. A healthy relationship is therefore not about having no difficulties it is about having the skills, time and energy to work things out and grow together. Relationships where one or both parties have experienced childhood sexual abuse or sexual assault are no different. They benefit from partners talking, sharing interests and working together to address difficulties as they arise. A relationship can be a place of intense joy and pleasure, and at times can produce considerable heartache and distress. Before discussing some of the ways sexual abuse can impact men and their relationships, it is important to acknowledge that all relationships require time, effort and commitment – from both parties – to be successful.